


Gone

by dammedchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Destiel - Freeform, FBI Dean, H - Freeform, Hitman Cas, Homophobia, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean, Killer Cas, M/M, MINOR DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE, Mafia Cas, Russian Cas, Serial Killer, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-04 00:51:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5313812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dammedchester/pseuds/dammedchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is an FBI agent who has been tracking a case on the Russian mafia for years. He gets a break in his case when a local sherrif manages to catch a wanted hitman. He should have known it wouldn't be so easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is planned to be a oneshot kind of story, but if people end up liking it and want more then I'll continue it into a complete story

Dean awoke with a start, his alarm blaring beside his head as he drug himself out of bed. Working for the FBI consisted of very demanding hours. He loved his job, but waking up at four in the morning in strange hotel rooms everyday was very exhausting. He showered and got dressed before he made his way to the local precinct. They had called him in just last night with a break in the case he had been working on for years. Following the Russian mafia led him down a dangerous path of stressful nights and close calls. But today, in the small town of Sioux Falls North Dakota, a local sheriff had caught a hitman for the head of the mafia. It was the first break he had gotten in years, so he may have been a little eager to lay his eyes on this wanted killer. But nothing could have prepared him for who he was about to see.  
Dean arrived at the small building, the crisp air around him felt good on his heated skin. He yanked open the door and came face to face with a disgruntled sheriff.  
¨What happened to you?¨ Dean asked with a small smile playing at his lips. The sheriff let out a huff and shook his head at the question, not replying right away. After a few minutes of him seeming to need to catch his breath, he responded, his voice trembled on the way out. ¨Just… he’s been messing with my mind.¨ Dean let out a small chuckle. ¨This work isn’t cut out for everybody.¨ Dean said at the man’s flustered face. The sheriff seemed to be done with the conversation, handing Dean a small key which he pocketed quickly. Dean made his way to the interrogation room where the hitman was waiting. The building was eerily quiet, Dean’s nerves alight with adrenaline as his fingers found the knob of the door, his other hand gripping his briefcase. Dean swung the door open with a confidence that faltered when he came face to face with a familiar set of blue eyes and the confident smile to match.  
His dark hair was ruffled atop his head, his eyes bright with wonder as he gazed back at Dean. His cocky smile fell slightly, he was obviously equally as shocked to see him, but the smug look quickly returned to his face. He opened his mouth to speak but Dean beat him to it. ¨How did I know you couldn’t stay out of trouble Castiel?¨ He huffed out a small laugh, his eyes darkening as he glared at him. ¨Because you just know me so well.¨ his voice was deep and rough like gravel underneath tires, his fingers clenching into tight fists on the table before yanking violently on the cuffs that restrained his to the table. ¨Help me out a little sweetheart?¨ He asked, his lower lip jutting out, eyes becoming soft. If they were still in high school, Dean would have gone weak in the knees at the helpless look he made. But something about him was so different, something that seemed to lie just beneath his perfect exterior. He seemed to be seeping with a maliciousness that he had never had before. This person in front of him was not the man who held his heart for years, this was a monster, someone who had killed dozens of people in cold blood. Dean refused to let his thoughts get to him now. Without a word, he took his seat in front of him, Castiel’s lips curling into a frown. Dean slammed his briefcase on the table and he tried to hide the start it got from him. This time, Dean smirked, he could use Cas’s sudden uneasiness to his advantage. Castiel flipped a low hanging strand of hair out of his face as he raised his head to look Dean straight in the eyes. His stare was intoxicating, but Dean kept his cool. He could tell Castiel was beginning to get flustered, he wasn’t used to not having Dean wrapped around his little finger. Dean had him right where he needed him.  
¨So Cas you’ve been a very bad boy haven’t you?¨ Dean asked, the sarcasm dripping from his tongue made Castiel’s face harden with rage. He pursed his lips and cracked his neck before responding. ¨No idea what you’re talking about.¨ He averted his eyes from Dean’s. ¨Save the excuses Castiel, my patience is wearing thin.¨ He said, voice rough with hostility towards him. Anger from Cas leaving him and anger that he had turned out to be a monster. He shouldn’t have been letting these thoughts into his head, but he couldn’t keep it in any longer. Dean released all of the pent up fury that he had towards him. ¨Russians? Really Cas? What happened to you that made you turn to them? What happened to turn you into...This?!¨ He gestured to him and all Cas did was roll his eyes at Dean’s words. ¨You know what? The Russians are all bad news but you...¨ Dean scoffed and abruptly stood from his chair, it tipping over in the process, the metal hitting the ground was the only sound in the room as he stared daggers down at him. ¨You’re the worst of them all.¨ The hurt expression that flashed across Castiel’s face was quickly replaced by feral anger. Though he stayed quiet, the tension in the room was palpable. ¨I always knew you were trouble.¨ Dean’s voice was calm in contrast to his clenched fists laying on the table below him. This is wrong Dean thought. He needs information out of Castiel and all he’s done is insult him. There’s no way he’ll say anything now. Dean groaned internally at his foolishness. Way to go.  
He was lost in his thoughts of how to fix the mess he was in that he didn’t notice that Castiel was crying until he let out a small sob. ‘Still an ugly crier’ Dean thought to himself. But something about Castiel made the built up wrath ebb away. In that moment, he was Cas again. His Cas. ¨You’re right¨ Castiel whispered through his shallow breaths. Woah. What? That was probably the first time he had ever heard him say those words...And it was what did Dean in. Dean reached across the table and gripped tight onto Castiel’s collar. His mind a clouded mess as he blocked out the shouting voices in his head telling him to stop. Castiel looked sufficiently surprised at Dean’s actions, pulling his head back in fear of Dean hitting him. But he didn’t. In fact, he did the complete opposite. Dean crashed his lips to his in a kiss and melted into the familiar feel of Cas’s lips on his own. He tried his best to let everything he was feeling seep into the kiss. Dean felt Castiel tense below him for only a second until he finally returned the action. Dean planted his hands in Castiel’s hair as Cas strained against his restraints in attempt to touch Dean as well, whimpering at his failure before he opted to grip onto the lapels of Dean’s jacket. They kissed for what felt like hours until they had to pull back to breath. Dean rested his forehead on Cas’s, wiping his stray tears from his cheeks and pecking his lips again. Castiel’s blue eyes filled with love and desire. ¨I missed you so much¨ Dean said without really thinking of what he was doing. More tears welled in his eyes and Castiel pulled Dean back to him. Another few minutes passed, the whole world disappearing around them, Dean’s sole focus was on the love of his life before him. Castiel pulled away and let out a shaky breath, his lips only millimeters from Dean’s own ¨Please don’t hate me for what I’m about to do.¨ Castiel whispered, Confusion flashed across Dean’s face and before he knew what had happened, Castiel’s hands were free, a gripping Dean’s briefcase, bringing the object down across Dean’s cheek. Darkness soon surrounded Dean’s eyes, the last thing he managed to see was Castiel glancing back at him from the door.  
Dean awoke to a bright light in his eyes, the memory of what he had let happen flowed back into my mind. His career was hanging in the balance and he had ruined it all because of Castiel. But none of that mattered when he realized that, once again, Cas was gone; and he knew that this time, he would stay gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to continue it after all, this is NOT beta'd.  
> 1) Because I don't have one  
> 2) Because I hate doing it myself. So any mistakes you fine are all on me.   
> I also added some Russian in this part, but the translations are next to them in parentheses.

15 years earlier...

At the age of 15, Castiel was one of those people that others always seem to be instantly drawn to. No, he wasn’t very friendly and he constantly refused offers from the ‘popular’ kids to go to parties. He wasn’t sure what it was that made people want to befriend him, but whatever it was, he didn’t like it. He wasn’t interested in making friends, or really even coming to school. 

He knew what he was going to be, what he was supposed to be. Everything was in place for him to graduate high school and start working for his father like all of his siblings had done. His life was already planned out for him. Though the one thing that hadn’t been planned was Dean Winchester.  

Castiel was in his first year of high school and Dean was in his last. Dean tried not to notice Castiel He really did. But something about those bright blue eyes and shaggy onyx hair caught his attention immediately. Everybody in his grade talked about the scrawny, attractive 9th grader. The girls all drooled over him, as well as some of the boys. Dean listened to what everyone said about Castiel He heard rumors that ranged from Castiel getting caught with one of the cheerleaders, to him beating the crap out of a couple of football players. Dean didn’t know what to believe about the boy, so he figured he’d find out for himself. 

Castiel was sitting at his normal table during lunch, drowning out the constant chatter around him. He had already warded off a few invitations to join others at another table. He wondered why these idiotic people wouldn’t just leave him alone. Castiel rested his head in his arms, his eyes closing slightly from his lack of sleep. 

A sudden shift on his table was barely recognized, as was the sound of someone clearing their throat. Castiel slowly peeled open one eye to look at what he assumed would be another girl inviting him over to her table. Though when he saw the infamous Dean Winchester, he was surprised to say the least. Castiel sat upright, his eyes blurring in the light before adjusting again. His eyes met curious bright green ones. 

He had heard plenty of girls talking about him, though Castiel had never really gotten a good look at the guy. God, he really was hot. Castiel wasn’t allowed to date, though that didn’t mean he couldn’t admire hot people. Dean offered Castiel an awkward smile, and Castiel realized he was staring. Not like he cared. Castiel felt his skin flush as he cast his gaze downwards. Yeah, he definitely didn’t care. 

¨You’re Cas right?¨ Dean asked and a silent shudder ran through Castiel at Dean voice. 

¨Castiel¨ he stated in return. Stop it Castiel. Get it together. Castiel wasn’t sure what was happening to him. He had never had this issue with anyone before, and he had met some very attractive people. He must be getting sick. Yeah, that’s it. 

¨You’re pretty hot.¨ Dean said suddenly. Good Gods, Castiel was utterly fucked. 

¨Th-Thank you. You’re also very attractive.¨ Castiel no. 

¨Would you want to go get some lunch sometime? Like, Saturday, maybe?¨ Dean asked, his confidence only wavering slightly. 

¨That is very forward.¨ Castiel said in return after the initial shock of the request wore off. 

¨I don’t like to waste time.¨ Dean said, a small smirk playing on his lips.

Castiel paused for only a moment before he spoke again. ¨Yes, I would like that very much.¨ Cas responded. Castiel NO. 

“Great!¨ Dean’s bright smile lit up his face again and Castiel couldn’t help the small one on his own face either. ‘Castiel Novak  you need to stop this right now’ his conscious screamed at him, but he had enough practice when it came to ignoring whatever told him right from wrong. Dean handed a pen to Castiel, who proceeded to write his number on the older boy’s hand. The shrill sound of the bell indicated that lunch was over. 

¨I’ll text you.¨ Dean said as he got up from his seat and exited the cafeteria, sparring a look over his shoulder to offer another smile at Castiel Castiel remained in his seat, ignoring the fact that he had another class to get to. 

¨What the hell did I just do?¨ Castiel said after a moment. He put his head in his hands and relaxed his tense shoulders.

¨It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.¨ He said over and over again to himself.

¨What’s gonna be okay little bro?¨ Castiel jumped up from his seat at the voice of his older brother Gabriel’s sudden voice. 

¨Uh, nothing.¨ Castiel studdered. Gabriel raised his eyebrow as Castiel and opened his mouth to speak. 

¨You boys should be in class!¨ A loud nasally voice interrupted Gabriel before he even began. He has never been more grateful for annoying teachers. The boys made their way out of the cafeteria towards their classes. Gabriel gripped Castiel's collar before he could make his escape. 

¨We’ll talk at home, and you really better be ready to talk then.¨ Gabriel said, though his intimidating voice was meant as a joke, it still caused Castiel's  stomach to clench. Gabriel released Castiel and headed on his way to his own class without another word. Castiel stood in the hallway, his heart beating away in his chest as he weighed his options.

He needs to call off his date with Dean. Wait, it isn’t a date, just lunch with a complete stranger. That’s all Dean is. A stranger who he can just get to know more about his pretty green eyes and his stupid smile. Knowing there was no way he can concentrate in math class right now, Castiel decides to just go home for the day. 

Gabriel interrogates Castiel when he gets home, forcing Castiel to make up a lie about a new study group that he has to attend just to get him off his back. Dean texts him later that night with a time and a place for the following day. Castiel knows he needs to say no and forget all about Dean Winchester. 

 ‘I’ll be there’ Castiel texts back before he tries to fall asleep. Castiel doesn’t dream, not normally, but tonight he feels like he does. When he wakes up, he has faint memories of one, though he can’t make out any pictures. He looks at his alarm which reads 5:30am. Just enough time for him to get his chores done and make it to the diner across town by noon. 

Castiel makes his way down the large staircase into a white marble filled kitchen to see his overeager yet underdressed siblings sitting at the table. His oldest sister Hannah is washing dishes beside the youngest sibling, Anna. While the second oldest, Uriel is cooking breakfast for the bunch. Castiel sits in his normal chair at the large table with his other brothers Gabriel and Michael. His brother’s seemed to be in exceptionally pleasant moods, which Castiel knew was never good. 

¨What’s going on Gabriel?¨ Castiel asked his brother after no one had acknowledged his presence. A large smirk spread across Gabriel’s face as he leaned towards the younger boy. 

¨Dad got a toy for us to practice on. Old guy who tried to skip out on payment.¨ Gabriel whispered to Castiel who felt his stomach twist, though not from nervousness. Castiel knew he wasn’t like other kids his age, knew he didn’t feel things the way they all did. Though he didn’t really see anything wrong with that. Sure, he’s had his fair share of adults trying to label him as a psychopath, but who hasn’t? In his eyes, he was completely normal. He even pitied those who had to feel emotions on a regular basis. 

Castiel knew what emotions were appropriate in each situation. For example, he knew he hated the attention he got from the girls at school, knew to fear the capabilities of his family, and he knew that he was happiest when he was ¨Cleansing the Earth of it’s scum,¨ as his father had so eloquently put it. 

Michael brought the plates of breakfast to the table followed by a frowning Hannah and a eager looking Anna. 

¨What’re you so smiley about?¨ Gabriel asked around his full mouth of food towards Anna after she sat down. Anna’s eyes widened, not enough for any of the siblings to notice, except Castiel who knew his younger sister like he knew himself.

¨No reason, just in a good mood.¨ Anna responded, throwing a knowing look at Castiel Anna was like Castiel in every aspect of the sense, hence why they bonded so easily. 

¨Cas. Anna. Father requested you two to be first today.¨ Michael announced, changing the subject quickly. Castiel and Anna shared a mutual look of delight before they nodded their heads to Michael. After breakfast, Castiel and Anna were rushed into the basement by Michael, dressed in their old ratty clothes. They knew this could get messy and didn’t need their good clothes to get ruined. 

Anna’s hand entwined with Castiel's  as they descended the dark staircase. They entered the dark basement and walked over to the hidden latch that opened to another set of stairs that led even farther downwards. They could hear the sounds of struggling now, adrenaline already fluttering through their bodies as they made their way farther into the dimly lit room. 

A man was tied to a chair, his mouth stuffed with a dirty rag as his muffled screams increased in volume when he spotted Castiel and Anna. None of that was a new thing to see. 

¨Приехать¨ (Come) Their father’s rough voice broke through the air. Castiel and Anna made their way to their father’s side who was standing beside his signature cart of tools.

If their father was expecting a response, he didn’t get one. 

¨Today’s game is all about ломая кости.¨ (breaking bones). Their father said, saying the last words in his native language, presumably so the man doesn’t understand what’s about to happen to him.

Castiel wished he could feel sorry for him. 

He knows that that’s all his father believes this to be. A game. Castiel and Anna are each handed bats and are instructed to demonstrate just how hard they are capable of swinging on the man before them. Castiel typically wasn’t one for torture, preferring to be quick and precise in his kills. He considers this, going straight for the man’s head, to just end his misery before it even starts, though he knows there would be even worse consequences if he ruined his father’s ¨fun¨. So he did the only thing he could. He swung.

He swung until his hands became numb, until his father gripped his shoulder and told him that he had never been more proud. Castiel didn’t hear a word of it, his ears rushed with blood from his adrenaline. He glanced at Anna who was covered in sporadic blood stains and he felt pride well in his chest. She was the only one he felt anything for, not dad, not Gabriel, only her. He was a robot, trained to fight for his father, and he believed that that’s all he’d ever be. 

It was only 6:30am when Castiel returned to his room, so he opted to busy himself with schoolwork until he had to get ready for lunch with Dean. It didn’t bother him that he could do such heinous things in his basement, then act like he was completely normal not an hour later, he was used to the complete 180 he had to do in order to fit into society. 

Castiel had finished up his English paper that was due the next month as the clock struck 11am. He closed his laptop and headed for his adjacent bathroom. The house he lived in was large enough so no siblings had to share bedrooms or bathrooms. Castiel looked at himself in the mirror, and felt nothing towards the boy looking back at him. He simply stripped from his clothes and showered before changing into the clothes he had set out for lunch. He didn’t realize how bad he was really getting. He didn’t realize how his thoughts became more and more violent. All he knew, was that he liked it.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean waited in his favorite booth of his favorite diner awaiting the arrival of his new found obsession. After their encounter at school, Dean had looked Castiel up on the internet and learned all he could; which, to say the least, wasn’t a lot.

He knew that Castiel's father was some big time politician from Russia and that Castiel was the second youngest of six children. Dean knew Castiel's brother Gabriel from school, though Gabriel and himself never really got along very well. The sound of the bell atop the door chimed and once again, Dean’s eyes dashed towards it to see a large old man entering. He frowned and shifted his gaze to the screen of his phone.

The time was 11:58am, he still had two minutes until the time he gave Castiel, so why did he already feel stood up?

He shook his head at the thought and stuffed his phone back into his pocket, returning his gaze to the already memorized menu in front of him. The longest two minutes of Dean’s life passed before the door rang again with another presence and Castiel walked up to Dean’s table.

He didn’t seem nervous, his face void of any emotion as he sat across from Dean without a word. Dean’s heart fluttered uncontrollably at the sight of him. Castiel was wearing a simple black t-shirt and dark jeans, his hair tousled like it always seemed to be. Dean admired the deep blue eyes that bore into his own.

¨Hey Cas, how’s your weekend so far?¨ Dean asked, realizing that the question sounded much more lame than it had in his head.

¨It’s been swell.¨ Castiel responded, his voice slightly deeper than most of the 9th grade boys, though it was still higher than Dean’s. A waitress approached their table and Dean immediately recognized her as Jo, his friend from school.

Dean ignored whatever Jo was saying to him, choosing to tell her his order of¨The Usual¨ She gave him a frown but he missed it. His eyes refusing to leave Castiel's.

Castiel was the first to break eye contact, looking directly at Jo to tell her his order as well.

¨I will have whatever Dean is having.¨ Jo's eyes wandered along the length of Castiel's body before she huffed out a breath and headed back into the kitchen.

_

Castiel wasn’t sure what to expect when he saw one of the older girls who attended his school walk up to his and Dean’s table, but he didn’t expect her actually address him.

¨Oh, so you’re the one Dean’s been talking about, huh?¨ She said to Castiel, though her eyes never left Dean.

Castiel decided that he did not like this girl. His dislike changing to hatred when she looked at him the way she did before she left. Castiel smirked at the thought of how nice her blood would look spattered across his basement wall. After a few moments of silence, Castiel turned his head to face Dean again.

¨What?¨ Castiel asked Dean when he saw that he too had a small smirk on his lips.

¨She doesn’t like you very much.¨ Dean said with a small laugh.

¨Why is that funny?¨ Castiel asked the older boy.

¨It’s just, she just gets jealous of anybody I bring here because she knows what usually happens after...¨ Dean says, his cocky demeanor from the previous day returning. Castiel wanted to slap the smirk right off of Dean’s face.

“And what typically happens after?¨ Castiel asked, his tone genuinely curious. Dean leaned in across the table to close the space between them. Dean’s face now mere centimeters from his own. Castiel felt his face heat slightly at how close they were. When Dean spoke, Castiel's muscles felt as though they tightened.

¨Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise, now would we?¨ Dean brushed his lips against Castiel's as he spoke, effectively making Castiel freeze in front of him. Jo returned to their table, rudely pushing food between them causing them to separate again. Castiel would have slit her throat right then if Dean didn’t offer him a warm smile and an even warmer wink. Jo scoffed and retreated back into the kitchen. Dean reached across the table and switched his plate with Castiel's.

¨Just in case she did something to yours.¨ he said after Castiel gave him a confused look.

***

_Present day…_

Castiel couldn't wrap his head around the events of today. It was only noon and he had been shot twice, hit over the head with a flower vase, and his right ankle felt like it was on fire. He’d hate to see what the rest of the day looked like for him.

_

The day had started out fine. He finished his latest job which had been sufficiently difficult; his favorite. Then Anna had called to tell him to announce her pregnancy, which made him feel emotions he hadn’t felt after months of being alone.

Castiel was looking forward to heading back home to see her again. He had stopped by a local gas station to fill up his gas tank when that idiotic cop had spotted him and his bloody trench coat, not that it mattered much to him, it was nothing he hadn’t handled before.

What made all of those decent thoughts dissipate was seeing him. The one person who Castiel never wanted to see again in his life.

Though he managed to find the key in Dean’s pocket and break out of the cuffs, he still had to steal a car and find a way to make it back to the safety of his home.

The bright sun was just peaking above the horizon as Castiel made his way down the road, looking for a car he could hotwire, he wiped his face with the back of his hand, spreading around the wetness on his cheeks. When did he start crying? When was the last time he even cried?

Castiel’s frustration at himself and at Dean erupted in his chest. Castiel’s deep voice roared through the silent air until it was strained enough to go hoarse.

"Fuck you!!¨ he screamed; fists finding their way to the nearest tree. His knuckles bursting at the impact, though he refused to stop until the emotions in his chest left.

After a few minutes and over a dozen more punches, Castiel was content with the shape of is bloodied, bruised hands. He sat in the soft grass, his back leaning up against the assulted tree as he brought his knees to his chest. He felt vulnerable, though it didn’t matter. Castiel wished he could just be home, wished that he never even took this job, wished that Dean never showed up and opened up the old wounds that he had inflicted all those years ago.

Castiel’s eyes flew open at the sound of police sirens in the distance. Gathering himself again, he made his way to the nearest building, hotwiring a minivan parked behind some bushes. His injured hands throbbed as his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

He pulled up to the luxury hotel his client had set him up in and cracked open the door to his room, slamming the door behind him and leaning his forehead against the cool wood. The sound of a gun being cocked behind him was not as startling as it should have been.

¨Great, just what I need right now.¨ Castiel whispered to himself before slowly turning, not sure what he was expecting to see. Castiel was met with the barrel of an unfamiliar gun pointed directly at his face. The man is speaking, but Castiel sees no need to actually listen.

Castiel huffs out an annoyed breath as he quickly disarms the man and knocks him to the ground.

Many other hitmen have come for Castiel in his 30 years of life, none of them leaving in anything other than a body bag if they were lucky, and if Castiel had no spare time to play. Like now, Castiel had no time for this person when he had the FBI hot on his tail.

‘A bullet to the head would have to do for now’ Castiel thought to himself before he pulled the trigger.

Castiel made his way out of the room, the noise from the gun having caused quite a commotion from the other hotel guests. He pushed his way through the crowd of people, naturally picking pockets and stealing expensive watches off the wrists of unsuspecting civilians.

He made his way to the end of the hallway, opting to take the stairs down to the stolen car parked around the back of the building. The last door of the hall flung open, revealing an older woman carrying a small dog.

“Who are you and what have you done with Betsy?” The woman shrieked, pointing a long wrinkled finger at Castiel. He tried to continue walking towards the stairs until the shouting started.

“My watch is gone!” A man shouted.

“Who took my wallet?” A woman yelled while she ruffled through her purse. Castiel really had no time for this. He turned on his heels, only to be met with crushing pain and the sound of glass breaking.

“Where is Betsy?!” The old woman shouted. Castiel looked around at the shattered vase, his head throbbing from the impact of it. Damn, for an old lady, she had some strength. The crowd of people were curiously looking on, trying to asses the commotion that surrounded them. Two angry looking men were headed towards him and he just rolled his eyes, pulling the pistol from his waistband and pointing it directly at them. There were shrieks and loud gasps from the crowd, the men backed off immediately, the old woman retreated back into her room. Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the doors of the elevator opening only a few yards away from him.

Dean was the first person to emerge, wielding his gun towards the crowd of people, his green eyes making contact with Castiel’s blue ones right before Castiel sprinted for the door to the stairs.

Castiel heard dozens of footsteps racing up the steps towards him, so he decided that the only way out, was up. He took off, taking the stairs two at a time. He glanced behind him, seeing the door he had just emerged from being flung open.

Turning back to his task, he was grateful for all of the hours of cardio he did on a daily basis, making it easy for him to reach the roof of the hotel with ease.

Castiel secured the strap of his duffel around him and made his way to the fire escape that scaled the side of the building. As he reached the bottom of the first ladder, he heard the door to the roof above him being opened.

He looked over the edge, sighing at the fact that there were no open trash bins that he could safely jump into. There were voices shouting above him before he saw heads poke over the edge.

“He’s over here-” A man started before Castiel shot, landing the bullet directly into the man's skull.

Castiel started on the next ladder, making it halfway before he felt a sharp, burning pain in his thigh. His foot slipped from the bar, his grip tightening on the ladder as his feet dangled below him.

He looked down to the ground, he was still a few stories from the ground. He had to make a choice, Jump down and try to make it to his car, or shoot his way through a dozen cops.

Castiel felt another searing pain rip through his thigh, making his decision for him. His fingers slipped from the bar and he was falling.

He felt something snap in his foot before he hit his face on the dry grass. He spat out the blood that filled his mouth and laid his head down as softly as he could. He didn’t feel the pain that flared through his body anymore, nor did he hear the shouting from above him or the sound of footsteps approaching. Castiel let out a long breath, relaxing his muscles and allowing his eyes to flutter closed.


	4. Chapter 4

**BREAKING NEWS:**

The East Coast Killer strikes again! “Four bodies were found behind a local bar, injuries consistent with the other victims of the East Coast Killer. The victims all have: Lacerations as well as evidence of strangulation, third degree burns to the eyes and scalp, and injuries consistent with rape. All of the victims have similar physical features, giving the assumption that the killer has a personal vendetta for a certain type of male figure. The local police are working with the FBI in order to finally capture the killer and put him behind bars. More on this story later tonight at nine”

Dean rolled his eyes at the busty blonde news anchor that spoke, they had been working with the local cops on this case for weeks.

Add that on top of seeing his former boyfriend for the first time in 15 years and one could say that Dean Winchester was NOT a happy camper.

Even though Dean was pissed at Castiel for the stunt he pulled back at the police station that morning, when he saw Castiel fall from that building, it hurt him a lot more than he would like to admit.

Castiel was currently in the trunk of his Impala, Dean hadn’t bothered to tie him up or anything, the injuries he suffered from the wall would ensure his unconsciousness for a while. He still wasn’t sure if what he was doing was a good idea or not, but in his head, he didn’t really have a choice. He had waited years for this moment. Castiel wasn’t leaving him again. He wouldn’t back down this time around. He refused.


	5. Chapter 5

**15 Years earlier...**

¨...and then he screamed, I screamed, we both hit the ground, and the pumpkin exploded. I then realized that letting the dog into the kitchen was a very bad idea.¨ Dean said with a wicked smile lighting up his face.

Castiel let out a loud laugh at the animated way Dean spoke. He couldn’t remember ever laughing wholeheartedly at something that didn’t involve blood or torture. The day at the diner had been over three months ago, Castiel had deemed that day one of the best days of his life so far.

He and Dean had been inseparable ever since, hanging out every time they both were free. Dean insisted they were dating, but Castiel wasn’t sure why. They hadn’t even kissed yet, how could they be dating?

Currently, they were riding around in Dean's beautiful classic car that Castiel had fell in love with the second he saw it. Castiel didn’t know much about cars, but it seemed that Dean knew enough for the both of them. The way he talked about his ¨Baby¨, the way he drove her with such care and respect. Castiel wasn’t sure why, but it made Dean even more attractive than he had already been.

Castiel had given up on not trying to fall for Dean, knowing that he couldn’t get enough of his presence. Castiel had never felt something for someone outside of his family, and he was sure that if any of his siblings found out, Dean would be dead in a day.

As if they could read his mind, his phone rang, Michael’s named flashing across the screen. Castiel motioned for Dean to be quiet as he swiped across the screen to answer the call.

¨Michael¨ Cas answered, hearing a loud commotion over the receiver.

¨Castiel, you need to come home. Now.¨ Michael said, his tone what one could only describe as frantic.

¨Michael, what’s wrong?¨ Castiel asked, noticing Dean's worried expression in the corner of his eye, he felt Dean's warm hand reach over to his own to entwine their fingers.

¨Just get here as quickly as you can.¨ Michael said before abruptly hanging up the phone.

Castiel's heartbeat was racing, he held the phone to his ear, listening to nothing as he processed what he needed to do.

¨Everything okay?¨ Dean asked, tightening his grip on Castiel's hand. Castiel took a deep breath, finally dropping the phone into his lap and looking at Dean.

¨Take me home¨ Castiel stated. Dean asked no questions, only sped up in the direction of the Novak house.

_

When Dean pulled up to the large gate that secured the perimeter of Castiel's house, he spoke.

¨Is that supposed to look like that?¨ Dean asked, motioning to the gate. It looked as if it had been pried open and was hanging loosely by the hinges.

¨No, it’s not.¨ Castiel repsponded as he exited the car.

Castiel slowly approached the gate, looking through the thick woods that surrounded his long driveway. Dean exited the car as well, coming up behind Castiel and placing a hand on his lower back.

¨Cas, what’s going on?¨ He asked, though he didn’t sound nervous, only genuinly curious.

¨Get back in the car.¨ Castiel stated as he bagan to walk towards his house, his eyes continuing to insoect his surroundings thouroughly.

¨Not a chance Cas¨ Dean said, gripping Castiel's hand tightly and walking along side him. Castiel stopped in his tracks and squinted his eyes at Dean.

¨You could get hurt.¨ Castiel muttered. Dean was suddenly very close to him again; it reminded Castiel of the day at the diner when Dean had been so close he had almost kissed him.

¨I’m your boyfriend. That means that it’s my job to make sure nothing bad happens to you. You’re not going alone¨ Dean stated, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Castiel stood for a second longer, he couldn’t waste anymore time out here while his family could be in danger.

¨You’re not my boyfriend.¨ Castiel huffed before turning and walking quickly towards his house. Dean caught up with him a second later but stopped in his tracks as they reached the large house.

¨You live here?¨ Dean asked. Castiel didn’t bother to answer him, noticing the front door had been broken into as well. Dean was walking around the large wrap around porch, inspecting the burnt red color of the bricks.

¨Dean stop¨ Castiel said as he made his way to a large flowerpot next to the front door. Castiel dug his hands in the soil, feeling around for what he knew was there.

¨Uh… you don’t need a spare key, the door’s already open Cas.¨ Dean said and Castiel wanted to shoot the smirk he could hear in his voice.

But instead, he found what he was looking for and pulled. As he did so, the small panel beside the flower pot opened up to reveal a small emergency arsenal. Castiel could feel Dean tense behind him as he gripped two pistols and extra magazines.

He made sure to arm himself with a pair of bowie knives as well. Castiel turned back to Dean, surprised to see that he didn’t look afraid. Castiel decided that if Dean was going to come along, he might as well know what he was going to get into. Castiel handed Dean a gun and a knife which he took hesitantly.

¨You know how to use these?¨ Castiel asked, situating his own weapons into his belt.

Castiel watched intently as Dean checked the magazine, turned off the safety and cocked it back. He marveled at Dean's long fingers roaming over the knife as though he had done it a thousand time before, and if he didn’t need to get into his house, he probably would have been sufficiently turned on.

¨Dad’s a uh- a cop. He makes sure we know how to protect ourselves.¨ Dean said at Castiel's expression before putting the weapons in his own belt.

Castiel didn’t express how impressed he was with Dean, he only turned and slowly made his way to the front door, sliding past it easily, making his way through the large foyer. Everything looked normal. From the large family portrait of him and his siblings, to the decorative candles that Anna had insisted they needed. It was spotless as always, though Castiel could feel something off about it. He decided to make his way upstairs to the bedrooms, hoping to find someone.

Castiel approached Anna’s room, Dean a few steps behind him. Castiel quietly on the door, only to hear the sound of a gun being cocked behind it.

¨Anna, it’s me.¨ Castiel said, his voice barely above a whisper. There was movement behind the door, which stoppped as it was ripped open, revealing the barrel of a small pistol being held by even smaller creamy white hand.

¨Castiel...¨ Anna whispered, dropping the gun to throw herself into her brother’s arms.

¨I thought you were dead.¨ She whispered into his ear. Castiel pulled her back so he could see if she was hurt. Concluding that she was fine, Castiel continued the conversation.

¨Anna, what’s going on?¨ He asked, feeling her tense beneath him as her eyes drifted over his shoulder.

¨He’s a friend. Now what happened?¨ Castiel spoke in his most serious tone that seemed to always get her attention.

¨I...I heard gunshots a-and then Michael was in my doorway telling me to lock up and hide¨ She said, her voice shaky. Castiel gripped her arms tighter in reassurance.

¨That was about 20 minutes ago.¨ She added. Castiel let out a breath and released Anna’s arms, looking around the hallway for any indication of other people.

¨Okay, let’s go.¨ Castiel said as he gripped Anna’s forearm, making his way back towards the staircase.

¨Where are we going?¨ She frantically asked, barely tripping over her own feet.

¨Dean here is going to take you somewhere and make sure you’re safe.¨ Castiel said before Anna abruptly stopped just outside the front door.

¨What?¨ was his response from both his sister and Dean.

¨Dean please. I know you want to help, but… I need you both safe.¨ Castiel admitted, taking Dean's hand in his own and bringing it to his lips.

¨I trust you to keep my Младшая сестра (Little sister) safe.¨ Castiel said. He knew that Dean melted every time Castiel spoke in Russian. Dean looked at every part of Castiel's face before he spoke again.

¨Okay.¨ He whispered, taking Castiel's face in between his hands and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

¨Please. Be safe¨ Dean muttered once he pulled away. He didn’t make eye contact when he did, only pulling away from Castiel and placing a soft grip on a sufficiently shocked looking Anna and made their way towards the driveway. Castiel's heart was beating so quickly that it was almost painful. Though he couldn’t focus on that right now; there was a loud crash that emitted from upstairs that had him sprinting towards it, gun cocked and loaded. Castiel threw open the door of Gabriel’s room, coming face to face with a pair of guns pointed towards him.

¨Gabe¨ Castiel breathed as he lowered his weapon, his brother matching his actions.

¨Where have you been?” Gabriel asked, breathless as if he had just ran a marathon. Castiel didn’t have time to respond before both brothers tensed at the raspy voice emenating from downstairs.

¨Come out, come out, wherever you are¨ The man said in a singing voice that made the hairs on Castiel's neck stand up. Gabriel had a look on his face that was a mix of disgust, anger, and fear.

¨It’s him.¨ Gabriel whispered as he made his way closer to the door.

¨Who?¨ Castiel asked, edging closer to the balconey that was above the open room below. His question was answered as he laid eyes on the man below him.

¨Uncle Alastair?¨ Castiel whispered to his brother, his voice laced with rage at the sight of his father’s estranged brother. They had been very close at one point, though as the years went on, Alastair had become envious of their father’s success.

¨Where is Anna?¨ Gabriel asked, his voice straining with worry.

¨Safe¨ Castiel said instantly. Gabriel nodded and walked farther into the hallway, Castiel hot on his heels.

¨Where’s Michael? And Hannah and Uriel?¨ Castiel asked, realizing that all of their rooms were empty.

¨With father… In the basement.¨ Gabriel muttered.

¨He got to them already¨ He added quickly. Castiel stopped in his tracks, the worse possible senario playing through his head.

¨They’re fine Cassie. He said he wanted all of us together. Want’s to ‘execute us as a family’ ¨ Gabriel said, using airquotes to signify Alistair’s words.

¨The sick fuck.¨ Gabriel whispered as he grabbed his favorite throwing knives, attaching them to the holster on his forearm; they were his expertise. Gabriel grabbed multiple guns and handed each to Castiel, knowing he was the best marksman in the family. They armed themselves as they made their plan, working as quickly as they could.

In a matter of minutes, they were fully armed and in their positions, Alastair gone from where he had previously been. They made their way down the stairs, quickly making sure the coast was clear. Castiel and Gabriel split off in different directions, Gabriel heading towards the garage while Castiel made his way towards the basement.

Masked with his silent footfalls Castiel was met with two guards in the first basement, taking them out easily and noiselessly with the suppressors Gabrielhad given him. Castiel opened the hatch for the second basement, guns raised and ready for anything.

He could hear the soft sound of jazz music flowing through the air, muffling any sound of a struggle.

The power was suddenly cut thanks to Gabriel. Castiel placed his night vision goggles on his face, not bothering to hide his smile at the thought of how he felt as though he was in a bad spy movie.

The music had ceased, making it eerily quiet, though Castiel wasn’t deterred. He knew every inch of this basement, knew which steps made a noise and which didn’t. He easily made it down into the room, seeing his father and siblings each tied to individual chairs.

They all blinked through the darkness, attempting to see through the sudden darkness. Castiel looked around the room, not seeing any trace of Alastair, though there was a confused looking man in the corner, his gun held up in front of him.

Castiel silently made his way over to the man, gripping his knife tightly in his hand as he easily drug it across the man’s throat. The man made a sound that seemed to be amplified in the quiet room.

He looked to his family, who were looking to the sides of them, trying to figure out who was the one that was dying. Castiel dragged the man to the farthest corner of the room and managed to stuff him in a closet. With the room clear, Castiel quickly made his way over to Michael first, cutting the ties that bound him to his chair.

¨Is it not sad when your younger brother has to come rescue you?¨ Castiel asked in a mocking tone as Michael stood from his chair. He was suddenly gripped hard by the shoulders and pulled into a tight, yet short hug. His family never really was one for showing affection.

The lights being cut back on scared the both of them.

¨Damn it¨ Castiel huffed. If the lights were cut on, then that means that Gabriel was in trouble too. The door to the basement opened suddenly and Michael quickly returned to his chair, pretending as if he was still restrained.

‘Smart’ Castiel thought to himself as he quickly secured a small knife into Michael’s sleeve, just in case. His brother nodded to him in thanks. Hannah and Uriel looking hopeful towards the two of them, his father’s expression unreadable, though Castiel hoped that he was grateful.

A person began to descend the stairs and Castiel retreated to behind the large shelves.

¨Let go of me!¨ Castiel's stomach dropped at the voice of his little sister.

¨Stop struggling малышка (little girl). Or I’ll spill more of your little friends’ blood¨ Alastair said in his nasally voice.

Anger flowed through Castiel as he glanced from behind the shelves to see that Anna’s ¨little friend¨ was an unconscious Dean.

‘Fuck’ Castiel thought as he witnessed Anna settle at Alastair’s threat.

Anna and Dean were tied back to back on the floor, Anna’s weight holding Dean's slumped body upright. Castiel could see that Dean's face was sufficiently bruised. Though when he looked at Alastair, he was nursing what looked ot be a gunshot wound to his midsection. Pride welled up in his chest at the thought of Dean or Anna defending themselves against this monster.

Dean began to stir and cracked open his eyes, adjusting to the harsh light of the basement.

¨Ah, it seems the boyfriend has finally joined the party. Be grateful I tied you to your lover and not Mr. Novak over here¨ Dean's eyes widened as he looked over his shoulder, a confused expression spreading across his face. Castiel could see Anna mouth the words ‘Just go with it’ to him, which he did.

‘Good boy’ Castiel thought. Dean's eyes wandered around the room, he let out a visible sigh of relief, presumably at not having seen Castiel tied up along with his family.

Alastair yelled something upstairs and another person began to descend with another slumped body slung over his shoulder. Castiel rolled his eyes when he realized that it was Gabriel.

‘Great, looks like I’m by myself with this one' he thought.

¨Now, let’s take attendance-” Alastair stopped mid sentence, his eyes wandering to the puddle of blood on the floor from where Castiel killed the man. Everyone in the room went tense as Alastair moved, his eyes frantically moving across everyone’s face carefully. As his eyes met Michaels, he pounced on him, gripping the front of his shirt tightly.

¨Where is he?” Alastair asked, his voice harsh and Castiel bet that there was spit flying from his lips as well.

Trusty Michael continued his silence, exactly like he was taught, like all of the children were taught. Which is why Castiel was surprised when his father was the first one to speak.

¨Он за sleves¨ (He’s behind the shelves) His father muttered, catching Alastair’s attention immediately.

Castiel froze in his spot.

His father… His father just ratted him out to the man that is trying to kill them all. Castiel looked over at Dean who had a confused expression on his face at Castiel's father’s words. Castiel wondered what Dean's reaction would be if he knew what Castiel's father had just done.

Castiel's siblings were each yelling their own slurs towards their father, though he seemed to not be phased by them. Castiel heard Alastair’s footsteps approaching, weighing his options, he saw no other choice other than to go out guns blazing. Castiel turned the corner, pistol aimed at the monster in front of him.

¨Ah, Кастиэль¨ (Castiel). Alastair said, his breath smelled of cigars and death. Castiel tried his hardest not to gag at the scent, tightening his grip on the gun.

¨Seems daddy here doesn’t mind ratting out his kids to save his own Жопа (Ass)¨ Castiel felt Dean tense out of the corner of his eye before he heard him.

¨What?! You bastard!¨ Dean yelled from his seated position behind Anna, tightening the ropes around her as well, causing her to let out a small yelp. Everyone’s heads whipped to Dean, seeming to just notice his presence. Alastair’s eyes darted from Dean back to Castiel, his sunken eyes seeming to make the connection that no one else had made yet.

¨О, как я люблю хороший поворот сюжета (oh, how I love a good plot twist)¨ Alastair whispered so only Castiel could hear him.

Castiel's eyes flashed back to Dean before he adjusted the barrel of his gun, pulling the trigger, hitting the remaining guard who had his own gun raised towards Dean and Anna.

A hard fist connected with Castiel's face, knocking him to the ground.

‘I’m really off my game today’ Castiel thought to himself as he was being dragged closer to his family. His eyes flew towards Michael, silently telling him that he only had one shot.

Castiel was thrown haphazardly at Dean’s feet, the fingers of his left hand being crushed by Alastair’s foot. He opened his mouth in a silent cry as he felt the small bones cracking against the floor. Castiel’s head was right beside the ropes that connected Dean and Anna. He noticed the small blade in Anna’s nimble fingers being worked over the tight restraints. Alastair moved away from Castiel with a final twist of his boot, causing Castiel to cry out in pain. His fingers were at odd angles and were already puffy with deep purple bruises.

“It’s going to be okay Cas. Everything’s going to be okay.” Dean whispered beside him. Dean’s words calmed his racing heart, though he was sure that they all were definitely NOT going to be okay. Castiel saw the ropes between Dean and Anna snap and Anna let out a breath of relief.

“Don’t move.” Castiel whispered to Dean’s surprised expression at his newly released limbs. Dean nodded his head to Castiel.

“Now that everyone is present-” Alastair began, kicking his dead comrade out of his way.

“We can get this show on the road!” He continued, waving a large machete in the air.

“Now…” He spoke, point the tip of the knife at each person individually.

“Eenie-” He pointed the knife at Michael.

“Meenie-” Castiel.

“Minnie-” Anna.

“...Mo” Dean.

Alastair took slow, carefree steps towards Dean, who’s eyes widened slightly as he glanced to Castiel. Options ran through Castiel’s mind at lightning speed. He couldn’t let Dean die. He couldn’t let someone hurt him. He couldn’t-

Alastair stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes ran over Dean, his slender head tilting in confusion.

“I know you” Alastair said. It was the first time Castiel had heard the slightest hint of apprehension in the man’s voice. Everyone was still. Confusion tensing their muscles.

“How did you? Where…” Alastair whispered. There was movement on Castiel’s right side and the next few seconds were chaos.

Michael had launched himself from his seat and was effectively knocking the machete from Alastair’s hands.

Anna and Dean were up and moving as well. Dean wrestling Alastair’s hands behind his back, Anna grabbing the machete and making quick work on the siblings’ restraints. Castiel only briefly noticed that she had not released their father as well.

Alastair knocked Michael into the brick wall, flinging Dean from his body as well.

Uriel, Hannah, and Gabriel were on him then, the stupid bastard didn’t stand a chance. Dean ran to Castiel’s side, helping him to his feet, careful to not injure his hand further.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked, carefully taking Castiel’s broken and bloodied hand into his own. Castiel looked to his left, Alastair was on the ground as his siblings threw blow after blow at him, content on using their own fists rather than the cart of tools a few feet away. Alastair was making little to no noise now, though Castiel’s eyes were fixed on his father. Dean’s eyes followed Castiel’s gaze, his own eyes hardening as he marched closer to Castiel’s father.

Dean threw a solid punch to Mr. Novak’s jaw.

Everyone in the room fell silent, the siblings even noticing the new commotion going on. Castiel gripped Dean’s arm before he could hit the man again.

“Stop.” Cas stated, never taking his eyes from his father’s bloodied mouth. Dean allowed himself to be dragged to the door of the basement.

“I can handle this” Castiel spoke in hushed tones, trying not to allow the hurt and betrayal he felt show through. Dean nodded curtly and Castiel returned to his father’s side, his expression as close to neutral as he could manage. Before Castiel could open his mouth to speak, his father pursed his lips and let his bloody spit fly towards Castiel, hitting him directly in the face. Castiel’s eyes hardened at this as he wiped the dripping blood from his face with his sleeve.

“You disgrace this family. I didn’t raise you to be a.. a Педик! (Faggot)” Castiel’s father growled.

Castiel raised his eyebrows in realization.

“So, that’s what this is all about?” Castiel laughed.

“You were more than willing to get us all killed, because I like guys?” He asked, keeping his cool demeanor, though he could feel the intense gazes of his siblings.

Castiel let out a sharp laugh, the sound of it foreign to him as well as the other’s in the room. Castiel threw a look to Michael who thankfully understood what he was trying to say. Michael’s eyes flew to their father and then back to Castiel. Castiel noticed the obvious change of his brother’s breathing when he raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

Michael looked to the other siblings who were equally as disgusted by their father’s actions as he was. Michael returned his attention to Castiel, his face void of emotion.

“If you believe this to be the best option, Castiel.” Was all his brother said as he directed the remaining siblings to dispose of Alastair’s body, leaving himself, Castiel, and Dean staring at Castiel’s once beloved father. Dean looked as though he hadn’t fully caught on to what was about to happen. Michael cleared his throat, catching Castiel’s attention once again.

“One condition Castiel” He muttered, motioning for Castiel to follow him to the farthest corner of the basement. Michael’s eyes flitted to where Dean was staring daggers at his father.

Damn it. Castiel should have seen this coming.

“You know the rules Castiel. No loose ends” Michael states, his tone leaving no room for argument. Though, Castiel never really was one to not argue.

“You won’t kill him.” Castiel says, staring directly into his brother’s eyes.

“Of course not. He’s not my responsibility” Michael says, his hand raising to hand over the small knife that Castiel had shoved up his sleeve earlier. Castiel stared at it as it laid in his palm, his eyes cast downwards, even as he felt Michael’s presence leave and a second later, he heard the sound of the basement door closing. A warm hand was pressed to his lower back, bringing him a saddening comfort that he didn’t know he needed.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep Anna safe” Dean whispered into Castiel’s neck, his warm breath bringing goosebumps to Castiel’s flesh. Dean pressed a chaste kiss the the skin below Castiel’s ear as he continued to whisper sweet nothings. Castiel allowed himself to fall further and further into Dean’s touch. There’s no way he could kill Dean. Dean was the closest thing he had to a ‘normal’ life. Dean was good and he deserved so much better than what Castiel could give him.

A loud disgusted sound emanated from Castiel’s father, making Castiel’s blood boil with anger. It’s all his father’s fault, if he had been able to protect his family, then Castiel could have kept Dean a secret and everything would be perfect. Or at least, as close to perfect as it could get for the son of a mob boss.

Castiel forced himself out of Dean’s grasp, making his way over to his constricted father, the knife Michael had given him gripped tightly between the fingers of his good hand. His father didn’t deserve respect, he deserved no better than the scum that he killed. Castiel slowly brought the knife to his father’s neck, only slightly piercing the skin, making his father grunt out in pain.

“You say I’m the disgrace?” Castiel whispers into his father’s ear as he ever so slowly pushed the blade deeper into the soft flesh of his father’s neck.

“Just do it already” His father grunted out, straining in his seat in attempt to get away from his demise.

“предатель(Traitor)” Castiel breathed as he plunged in the knife to the hilt and stepping away. Castiel made sure to miss any major arteries, forcing his father to wait until he bled out. Castiel watched his father thrash in his restraints for a moment before he slowly turned his gaze towards Dean, the other boy's expression not as shocked as Castiel expected it to be.

Dean reached a hand out to Castiel, but he forced himself away from it.

“Get out” Castiel muttered, his heart breaking as he spoke.

“Wh-What?” Dean questioned, pulling his hand back like Castiel had burned his with his words.

“You need to leave. They’ll-” Castiel cut off his sentence, not sure what his family would do if he allowed Dean to live.

Dean edged closer to Castiel, hurt etched into his features. Castiel thought to himself how much he hated that expression on Dean’s face. Castiel readied himself for the heated words Dean was sure to throw his way.

“Cas… let’s leave.” Well that’s certainly not what Castiel was expecting.

“What?” Castiel asked, turning to face Dean with a face full of confusion. Dean took Castiel’s hand in his, entwining their fingers as he placed a small kiss to the corner of Castiel’s mouth.

“Let’s leave. Let’s run away from everything here. I’ll take care of us both, Sammy can come with us too. We’ll get a motel far away from here and everything will-” Dean was rambling and Castiel knew it he knew it was the act of a desperate man about to lose everything.

“Stop” Castiel interrupted, ripping his hand from Dean’s. It hurt him a lot more than he cared to admit.

“You need to go. We can’t see each other anymore” Castiel turned away, not being able to look at what he was sure was a heartbreaking look on Dean’s face. But he knew what needed to be done to keep Dean safe. He was never good at emotions, though he knew how to push people away. Or at least, scare them enough to not want to see him again. Castiel steeled his features before facing Dean directly, managing to ignore the tears welling in Dean’s deep green eyes.

“If you try to come near me again... “ Castiel began, catching Dean off guard with the newly found bass in his voice.

“I’ll kill you myself” Castiel finished. Dean’s eyes widened at that, his eyes darting towards Castiel’s now dead father on the ground beside them. Dean wiped his hand over his eyes that were now filled with angry tears.

“Fuck you!” He screamed as he headed towards the door of the basement, stopping as he reached the first step to turn and look back as Castiel. Castiel could feel his own tears threatening to form, though he managed to keep them at bay, opting to move towards his father, feeling Dean’s eyes on his every move. Castiel unsheathed the knife from his father’s neck and inspected it a bit before flinging it in Dean’s direction. It narrowly missed him, plunging into the door frame beside his face.

“I said, Leave.” Castiel muttered. Dean’s eyes were wide in horror, looking to the blade as if it held all of life’s answers in it’s shiny metallic form. With a quick glance back at Castiel, Dean spun on his heels and made his way up the stairs, slamming each door he came to. Castiel stood in the now silent room, regret filling all of his senses until he was a mass of angry tears and self hatred on the floor.

Anna somehow managed to find him and get him to his room without many complications. Nobody asked about Dean after than day, in fact, no one talked about any of that day’s events. Michael, being the new head of the family, decided to move the remaining siblings out of the state. They each remained even more closed off than they had previously been, living out the new few years in isolation as each one of Castiel's siblings moved away and constructed their own lives elsewhere.

Castiel managed to convince himself that what he had done had been the best thing for everyone. It didn't matter that he though of Dean everyday, or that he never managed to connect with another person like he had with Dean.

He had found what he loved to do; what filled the whole that he made when he forced Dean out of his life that day. Though he was sure that taking solace in his ever growing list of kills probably wasn’t the best coping mechanism.

Dean had become a memory that forced it’s way into his mind on occasion, bringing him into the darkest of bars on the darkest of nights, hoping someone would be able to fuck the sadness out of him. Though, those people never lived long after those nights. Castiel was slowly but surely turning into the same thing he had vowed to rid the earth of all those years ago.

A monster.


End file.
